...be careful what challenge you set your friends! During conversation with a couple of friends of mine I asked, without thinking (naturally), what 3 new year resolutions they could come up with. Could be anything; deep & meaningful, life changing or frivilous. We sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes. It was at that point that I realised what I had done. Yup, I could wait until they stated their 3, which would buy me time, but it would come back to me eventually and being the person who asked there was no getting out of it.
I never was one who subscribed to the whole New Year resolution thing until the beginning of 2010. For some reason I decided that that was going to be the year that not only would I set myself a New Year resolution but I would set 10!! I wrote them up on my Wall of Wisdom & other Shite (kitchen wall) and crossed them off when completed/achieved. I LOVED it! I managed to achieve 8 out of 10. I did not manage to do a Sky Dive nor did I learn how to make a dress (I carried them onto 2011...em...perhaps 2012??). 2010 was a challenging year of sorts. I wasn't earning a lot of money, I was working a lot of hours as I had 3 jobs to keep my head above water - yet I was happy. I wasn't 'fufilling my potential' in terms of the type of work I was engaged in, but the amount of hours I worked, the lack of time off & keeping myself afloat financially was challenging. However having these goals/challenges that were not work related gave me focus and a sense of achievement.
I remember the 31st December 2010, I was house sitting, seeing in the new year on a sofa in front of the fire, with a stinking cold and a sympathetic friend for company. It should have been a night of massive celebration. Not only was it Hogmanay but as of the 1st January I had a 'permanent' contract for a job that I knew I was going to love (and I did). But instead, I kept falling asleep mid conversation with my poor friend who really had drawn the short straw that night. However, I was happy and decided that I didn't need to make New Year resolutions as I had, what I thought were going to be, positive challenges & experiences ahead of me without me adding to it. And I did for part of the year, however I also ended up going through what has been, to date, the most challenging & difficult time of my life...and that's saying something!
Of course coming to the end of the year, one becomes reflective, I've reflected....and, well...I'm stuck! Because of the experiences I've had this year I feel derailed & deflated. I no longer want what I thought I wanted. The work I do is fantastic. I'm learning, there is development in my near future and I have a lot of freedom...but is there such a thing as too much freedom? Maybe not, perhaps I just have to adjust a little more...?!
I said at the start of this blog that I don't have a TomTom, this is still true. I don't even feel like I'm at a cross-roads. I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a really, really big field and as I spin around 360° the horizon looks exactly the same ~ in all directions.
So, I've decided to set myself some New Year Resolutions for 2012. When I move home in the middle of January I shall write them up on my Wall of Wisdom for all to see (well those I allow into my home).
Here are my first 4...
1. Get my hair cut (it's been many, many months)
2. Loose 3 stone by the end of the year through a combination of healthy eating and exercise...mainly cause I can't afford the surgery!! For the record I mean by the end of year 2012...I'm stating this so that I can't turn round and say 'I didn't state which year!')
3. Start a book/film club.
4. Save up, so that once I've lost the 3 stone I can buy a pair of fabulous jeans. I really covet a pair of fabulous jeans!!
If I add to this list and I will publish - nothing like a bit of pressure to keep me on track/give me something to kick myself about!! =)
{FYI: I was thinking about adding 'Give up moaning' but on reflection I've decided that I enjoy a good ol' moan. There's a song that goes "Always look on the bright side of life dodo, dooodo dodo dodo" - this is good advice, but bear in mind that you can only do that if you acknowledge the dark. Also it's not possible to be funny unless you are miserable once in a while - FACT!}
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