...throw caution to the wind and change my bedding a day early! I think it's healthy to challenge the norm and Sunday is 'change the bedding day' but this morning I woke up and thought 'hell, I know how to live life on the edge and I'm gonna prove it!'....so I stripped my bed!! HA...take that normality! Yeah....
I now feel like I can achieve whatever I want to today - I have thrown off the cloak of conventionality and now I feel like I can do anything!! So I'll report back tomorrow and let you know how things pan out!!
hahahaha....oh dear!
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Is sanity over-rated?
As of this morning I weigh 18lbs less than I did at the beginning of this year. I'm very happy...not only that I'm managing to lose weight at a steady rate (ok, a wee bit too slow for my liking ~ I'm impatient) but also that I've got a way of visualising the weight.
The problem is that I don't stop 'visualising' there. I start to think 'How did I manage to do that?? Carrying the equivalent of 8 bags of sugar around with me all the time! I'm NOT EVEN HALF WAY!!' So then I look at my body and wonder where the next 8 bags are going to come from. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking 'OMG...where are they going to come from, I've none left to give?!?' There are still plenty of options. I just wonder how my body decides where the next lot is coming from. Obviously I'd like to nominate areas....mainly around my middle (you know I SWEAR that the other day I felt the beginnings of muscle under my insulation...I swear I did!).
Recently my weight properly plateaued and I was really disheartened. I eat a ridiculously healthy diet and am exercising a lot. Now, I do have to admit at this point that a few people have tried to point out that perhaps I've not been eating enough, but that sounded ridiculous to me! I eat. I LOVE food. But, I am used to having to be strict with what I eat AND I'm in the mind-set of "am trying to lose weight, don't eat too much - you FAT cow" so it has been difficult for me to 'hear' what I'm being told. Also my main focus has been on which foods I am having problems with rather than being concerned with calorie content etc.
However, the other day I was Skyping with my friend Claire and I was moaning (shocker!) about how my weight loss had stopped. So she asked me what I was eating and I listed off a normal day - as I did this she took a rough guess at the calorie content of each meal, by the end of my spiel, she said...
"Em Jo, I don't think that you're even taking in enough calories to cover a normal day and that's without exercising on top of that! No wonder you are not losing weight."
Me: Eh?
She suggested that I try out 'MyFitnessPal' which is a free website, you enter age, current weight, height and target weight. It then works out how many calories, carbs, fat & protein you should be aiming for each day. You then enter everything you eat (which I'm used to doing from keeping my food diary (wow, reading this back I have to wonder how I cope with being so blimmin exciting!!)), any exercise and it keeps a running total. I did a couple of days from my food diary and it turned out that I was eating somewhere between 750-1000 calories too few a day! Em....oops!
My new challenge is to try to make sure that I eat enough each day!! HOLY TOOT...I NEVER thought I'd hear myself say that. Fortunately I think I've nailed it...hahaha. Since eating 'enough' I've managed to lose 3lbs, also my energy levels and focus have started to improve.
I have to fess up that I think part of the reason that I've started to 'listen' to this advice is that someone said to me that if you don't feed your body enough then it starts to eat muscle rather than fat as the protein from muscle will keep your body going longer than fat. Well...immediately my visually-operated brain honed into that piece of information and I now freak out that I've got these wee monsters running about my body nibbling on all my newly formed muscle...FREAKS ME OUT!
Hence why, from this day forth, I'm going to ensure that I'm eating enough!! As for questioning my sanity, well I just don't have enough hours in the day...
18lbs = 1stone 4lbs = 8.1kgs =
 |
| I'm a visual person - it's how I roll! |
The problem is that I don't stop 'visualising' there. I start to think 'How did I manage to do that?? Carrying the equivalent of 8 bags of sugar around with me all the time! I'm NOT EVEN HALF WAY!!' So then I look at my body and wonder where the next 8 bags are going to come from. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking 'OMG...where are they going to come from, I've none left to give?!?' There are still plenty of options. I just wonder how my body decides where the next lot is coming from. Obviously I'd like to nominate areas....mainly around my middle (you know I SWEAR that the other day I felt the beginnings of muscle under my insulation...I swear I did!).
Recently my weight properly plateaued and I was really disheartened. I eat a ridiculously healthy diet and am exercising a lot. Now, I do have to admit at this point that a few people have tried to point out that perhaps I've not been eating enough, but that sounded ridiculous to me! I eat. I LOVE food. But, I am used to having to be strict with what I eat AND I'm in the mind-set of "am trying to lose weight, don't eat too much - you FAT cow" so it has been difficult for me to 'hear' what I'm being told. Also my main focus has been on which foods I am having problems with rather than being concerned with calorie content etc.
However, the other day I was Skyping with my friend Claire and I was moaning (shocker!) about how my weight loss had stopped. So she asked me what I was eating and I listed off a normal day - as I did this she took a rough guess at the calorie content of each meal, by the end of my spiel, she said...
"Em Jo, I don't think that you're even taking in enough calories to cover a normal day and that's without exercising on top of that! No wonder you are not losing weight."
Me: Eh?
She suggested that I try out 'MyFitnessPal' which is a free website, you enter age, current weight, height and target weight. It then works out how many calories, carbs, fat & protein you should be aiming for each day. You then enter everything you eat (which I'm used to doing from keeping my food diary (wow, reading this back I have to wonder how I cope with being so blimmin exciting!!)), any exercise and it keeps a running total. I did a couple of days from my food diary and it turned out that I was eating somewhere between 750-1000 calories too few a day! Em....oops!
My new challenge is to try to make sure that I eat enough each day!! HOLY TOOT...I NEVER thought I'd hear myself say that. Fortunately I think I've nailed it...hahaha. Since eating 'enough' I've managed to lose 3lbs, also my energy levels and focus have started to improve.
I have to fess up that I think part of the reason that I've started to 'listen' to this advice is that someone said to me that if you don't feed your body enough then it starts to eat muscle rather than fat as the protein from muscle will keep your body going longer than fat. Well...immediately my visually-operated brain honed into that piece of information and I now freak out that I've got these wee monsters running about my body nibbling on all my newly formed muscle...FREAKS ME OUT!
Hence why, from this day forth, I'm going to ensure that I'm eating enough!! As for questioning my sanity, well I just don't have enough hours in the day...
Friday, 6 April 2012
The simplest things...
...can sometimes be the hardest!
I've had an incredible week and I've wanted to write about it but the few attempts I've had have been...well pretty pants (rubbish)! My first attempt was pathetic...it was no where near adequate, my second was a fair reflection on how I feel at the moment but it just didn't read very well and my last attempt...there are no words to describe just how ridiculous it was.
My last post ended up being a bit of a Sunday morning moan, which is a blimin cheek! I have a great life...I really am blessed! I was thinking the other day that I must have a guardian angel, who granted on occasion has maybe taken some extended holidays, but on the whole I do feel like I've got someone looking after me. But the reality is not that I have someone looking out for me but that I have got lots of people who look out for me (in addition to my guardian angel of course - I'm thinking along the lines of Clarence Odbody from 'It's a Wonderful Life'!).
I have to admit that I am writing this very much for my own benefit. I know that when things get a little difficult or challenging that it is very easy to forget all the amazing things that I have in my life. SO the plan is that when I start to moan that 'life is not fair' I'll hopefully read this to remind me of two things:-
1. The REPEATED conversations I used to have with my dad when I was wee (I say wee, we probably had this conversation within the past year)...
Me: Och min....life's not fair!
Dad: Who said life is fair?
Short but to the point, I'm sure you'll agree!!
2. What a difference all the amazing people in my world make to my life. From the friends who pop round for a cuppa, a chat and a laugh; the wee reminders letting me know that I'm in someones thoughts to the friends who make "small" gestures which mean the world to me!! I have family & friends around me to celebrate wins or pick me up when I fall and stand by me when I need their strength and support. And there are all the times I've been forgiven!! I make mistakes, many mistakes...I try to ensure that I vary them so that no one gets bored, but whatever form they take, they are still there...and I'm lucky enough to have people around me who forgive me.
So me-of-the-future, if you dare to feel sorry for yourself without GOOD reason, and even then, please take a moment to remember that you are still one very lucky lady!!
I've had an incredible week and I've wanted to write about it but the few attempts I've had have been...well pretty pants (rubbish)! My first attempt was pathetic...it was no where near adequate, my second was a fair reflection on how I feel at the moment but it just didn't read very well and my last attempt...there are no words to describe just how ridiculous it was.
My last post ended up being a bit of a Sunday morning moan, which is a blimin cheek! I have a great life...I really am blessed! I was thinking the other day that I must have a guardian angel, who granted on occasion has maybe taken some extended holidays, but on the whole I do feel like I've got someone looking after me. But the reality is not that I have someone looking out for me but that I have got lots of people who look out for me (in addition to my guardian angel of course - I'm thinking along the lines of Clarence Odbody from 'It's a Wonderful Life'!).
I have to admit that I am writing this very much for my own benefit. I know that when things get a little difficult or challenging that it is very easy to forget all the amazing things that I have in my life. SO the plan is that when I start to moan that 'life is not fair' I'll hopefully read this to remind me of two things:-
1. The REPEATED conversations I used to have with my dad when I was wee (I say wee, we probably had this conversation within the past year)...
Me: Och min....life's not fair!
Dad: Who said life is fair?
Short but to the point, I'm sure you'll agree!!
2. What a difference all the amazing people in my world make to my life. From the friends who pop round for a cuppa, a chat and a laugh; the wee reminders letting me know that I'm in someones thoughts to the friends who make "small" gestures which mean the world to me!! I have family & friends around me to celebrate wins or pick me up when I fall and stand by me when I need their strength and support. And there are all the times I've been forgiven!! I make mistakes, many mistakes...I try to ensure that I vary them so that no one gets bored, but whatever form they take, they are still there...and I'm lucky enough to have people around me who forgive me.
So me-of-the-future, if you dare to feel sorry for yourself without GOOD reason, and even then, please take a moment to remember that you are still one very lucky lady!!
Sunday, 1 April 2012
There's seizing the day and there's...
...pummelling the poop out of it!! In recent years I have come to the realisation that I am driven, in a large part, by the desire to live life to the full. I don't want to be a spectator in my own existance. "Carpe diem" - seize the day!! However, I think that I sometimes take that a little too far OR perhaps I need to re-evaluate what seizing the day actually means to me. I am coming to the conclusion that my current definition can verge on being a wee bit detrimental to my well-being.
It's when I find myself saying 'there are just not enough hours in the day'. Well, that's just plain ridiculous....of course there are enough hours in the day, I am either not utilising them to best effect or I've got my priorities mix up OR perhaps I'm just greedy. I want to do it all!!! I want to spend lots of time with all my friends, I want to be fit & healthy, I want to do all the activities I enjoy...cooking, eating, exercising, reading, doing arty-farty stuff, watching Suits, The Mentalist, films etc. I want to feel like I'm in control and on top of things (ie. not missing friend's birthdays!!), I want to work so that I have money to aid my existance (well, ok I want the money part of that!)...and the list goes on.
Take yesterday for example. I had a great but mega busy day. I got up, ran, showered, cycled to my friend's place, helped her move from her top floor flat into a 1st floor flat (but unfortunately not in the same building!)...cycled home, had a quick cuppa with Jutta Saint at my place, went for lunch with a friend, scooted into town to meet a couple of mates for a cuppa and shopping. Got home, changed and went out to a another friend's place for a v.tasty dinner then at 10.30pm headed into town to meet a good friend for catch up drinks because he's visiting for the weekend.
Brilliant day...but unfortunately I didn't stay out as long as I wanted and by the time I got to the pub to see my mate I was shattered so wasn't on best form. I ended up bailing at 12.30am. I also had 3 vodka & oranges and felt....well not great! {This does not spell the end of me & alcohol....it is just a blip, I'm sure of it!!}
It was when I got home that it dawned on me that the feeling of being overwhelmed was creeping in to my life. Biggest indicator?? The state of my flat. It is a MESS. It needs a good tidy up and clean. I have a theory that my home is a visual representation of what's going on in my head....going by the current state of my flat...oh deary me!
It is at times like this that the uneasy feeling about my financial position starts to raise its ugly head. I have a pretty constant arguement with myself about money. I'm not in a great financial position at the moment, but I'm getting by and sorting things out. I'm on a great big count down to the end of 2014 when all my debts (except mortgage and student loan) shall be paid off but in the mean time I still need to live. I live to a tight-ish budget most of the time, but 1. it could be tighter and 2. I sometimes fall off the wagon. But at the same time I think; yup, budget could be tighter and I could have a far more frugal existance but 1. How dull and 2. What happens if I die before I get to the debt-free point and I've spent my last few months being frugal and dull?!?
Then to top it all off...there is the 'icannotbearsed' voice in my head. For example, I have the whole of today ahead and I've not made any plans. I started off, before falling asleep, giving myself permission to sleep in this morning. So I slept til 7am and spent an hour or so pretending to sleep, then switched on my laptop culminating in writing this. Rest of the day I need to tidy up & clean flat. Launder clothes. Sort mountains of paperwork that seem to be self-growing, put the items I've looked out to sell on ebay (you know, to help with the de-cluttering of flat and generating income part), do some work because I didn't really clock enough hours last week (blaming the weather & my rollerboots!), I've got a couple of projects that I've promised people I'll get back to them on, and I need to have another look at my finances and perhaps reconsider my view on living, what could potentially be my last few months of life, being frugal and dull.
The Result? I've worked out that the 'icannotbearsed' voice and the overwhelmed feeling are one and the same. ..well they certainly come hand in hand.
It's when I find myself saying 'there are just not enough hours in the day'. Well, that's just plain ridiculous....of course there are enough hours in the day, I am either not utilising them to best effect or I've got my priorities mix up OR perhaps I'm just greedy. I want to do it all!!! I want to spend lots of time with all my friends, I want to be fit & healthy, I want to do all the activities I enjoy...cooking, eating, exercising, reading, doing arty-farty stuff, watching Suits, The Mentalist, films etc. I want to feel like I'm in control and on top of things (ie. not missing friend's birthdays!!), I want to work so that I have money to aid my existance (well, ok I want the money part of that!)...and the list goes on.
Take yesterday for example. I had a great but mega busy day. I got up, ran, showered, cycled to my friend's place, helped her move from her top floor flat into a 1st floor flat (but unfortunately not in the same building!)...cycled home, had a quick cuppa with Jutta Saint at my place, went for lunch with a friend, scooted into town to meet a couple of mates for a cuppa and shopping. Got home, changed and went out to a another friend's place for a v.tasty dinner then at 10.30pm headed into town to meet a good friend for catch up drinks because he's visiting for the weekend.
Brilliant day...but unfortunately I didn't stay out as long as I wanted and by the time I got to the pub to see my mate I was shattered so wasn't on best form. I ended up bailing at 12.30am. I also had 3 vodka & oranges and felt....well not great! {This does not spell the end of me & alcohol....it is just a blip, I'm sure of it!!}
It was when I got home that it dawned on me that the feeling of being overwhelmed was creeping in to my life. Biggest indicator?? The state of my flat. It is a MESS. It needs a good tidy up and clean. I have a theory that my home is a visual representation of what's going on in my head....going by the current state of my flat...oh deary me!
It is at times like this that the uneasy feeling about my financial position starts to raise its ugly head. I have a pretty constant arguement with myself about money. I'm not in a great financial position at the moment, but I'm getting by and sorting things out. I'm on a great big count down to the end of 2014 when all my debts (except mortgage and student loan) shall be paid off but in the mean time I still need to live. I live to a tight-ish budget most of the time, but 1. it could be tighter and 2. I sometimes fall off the wagon. But at the same time I think; yup, budget could be tighter and I could have a far more frugal existance but 1. How dull and 2. What happens if I die before I get to the debt-free point and I've spent my last few months being frugal and dull?!?
Then to top it all off...there is the 'icannotbearsed' voice in my head. For example, I have the whole of today ahead and I've not made any plans. I started off, before falling asleep, giving myself permission to sleep in this morning. So I slept til 7am and spent an hour or so pretending to sleep, then switched on my laptop culminating in writing this. Rest of the day I need to tidy up & clean flat. Launder clothes. Sort mountains of paperwork that seem to be self-growing, put the items I've looked out to sell on ebay (you know, to help with the de-cluttering of flat and generating income part), do some work because I didn't really clock enough hours last week (blaming the weather & my rollerboots!), I've got a couple of projects that I've promised people I'll get back to them on, and I need to have another look at my finances and perhaps reconsider my view on living, what could potentially be my last few months of life, being frugal and dull.
The Result? I've worked out that the 'icannotbearsed' voice and the overwhelmed feeling are one and the same. ..well they certainly come hand in hand.
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