...and we're only on day 28!
One of the biggest decisions I've made this year is I am no longer going to have a stage age!! It was illustrated to me recently that I'm robbing people of that moment where they can say "NO WAY...you're not that old!!" or "WOW - you look great for your age!!". What currently happens is that when I'm asked how old I am and I answer 28 & a half (or sometimes 29, when I am 'test driving' my new age) - I get no reaction. Which is great, but it doesn't quite have the same impact of the "WOW" or "NO WAY" comments - which I'm only going to get if I fess up my real age (or add years on - like that's EVER going to happen!!!).
So I have decided to have a trial run with my actual age and see how things pan out. Now, if I am not getting the reactions that I want then I shall revert back to my stage age - and it's because of this that I'm not actually going to give my age in writing...I want no evidence that can be used against me in some fit of revenge or jealousy.
I also appear to have given up marshmallows in the past few weeks!?!? Not sure what that's about to be honest - I'm hoping that it's just a phase and that normal service shall resume in the near future!!
Around about October/November I had made the decision to put on some winter weight because I really was struggling with how darn cold I was feeling ALL THE TIME. It's not something I've ever really suffered from before except if ill or tired, but since losing weight it's hit me. So whilst shivering in my flat one day whilst wearing 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of trousers, a vest, 2 t-shirts, 3 jumpers, hat, scarf and gloves, I made the decision to gain some weight. (When I told Shona how cold I was her reply was 'put the heating on you grippy mare!'. Haha..not one to mince her words!!). I ran my idea past some of my mates and I have to say that I was slightly disappointed with their negative reaction...but hey, not everyone can keep up with my genius. So I successfully put on my winter weight - which helped a little with the whole cold thing, but I've now decided that I miss my slimmer figure and that feeling of getting fit (also can't really afford to buy new clothes), so have decided to reverse my decision and have started back at the gym and accidently have fallen out of love with marshmallows!
Also in these short 28 days I've taken on the role of substitute wife!! I've never tried being a wife before and to be honest, I think it's a huge step, so I feel that the sensible thing to do is test drive the position for a while and see what's what. It just so happens that an opportunity arose through a whole host of unplanned events which have led me to this point...
I was meant to be pregnant lady sitting for a friend in her final couple of weeks of pregnancy with her first baby, but at the very last minute her partner (who works offshore) came down with chickenpox (he really has my full sympathy), which meant he was no longer going to be away. In the mean time I had offered the use of my flat to my friends who are getting work done to their house and it just so happened that the dates coincided with the dates that I was meant to be pregnant lady sitting.
With the last minute change (confirmation came through on moving day), I needed to find somewhere to live tout de suite. My first port of call was my parents (well...they gave birth to me - I didn't ask to be born, so surely they are still responsible for me?!?!?!) and eventually my mother managed to get the phone away from my 'hmmm-will-have-to-discuss-this-with-your-mother-and-how-long-did-you-say-you-would-need-to-stay-for?' father and she told me that I was welcome (uhuh.... (I do feel I should put in that I know I was welcome, but they live out in the country, we had a lot of snow and I had meetings etc in town that I needed to get to, so it wasn't super convenient to be out there)). But then, very fortuitously, my darling friend Shona called me and when I told her of my situation she very kindly offered me the use of her spare room. So I moved with what seemed to be most of my worldly possessions into her beautiful house - I even amaze myself at just how quickly I make myself comfortable in someone else's home. So I stayed there for a week, which just flew by. I think I may have suggested, on more than one occassion, that I should rent out my flat and move in with her...which I hope she took as a compliment. I'm just waiting for her to come back to me....
Not wanting to over-stay my welcome (yup, that sort of thing is on my radar...granted I sometimes chose to ignore it, but it's there) I then received a very kind offer of accommodation from my friends Fi & Andy. Fi is away training in Spain somewhere (ach, something to do with 'sun'??) and Andy is away during the week, returning at weekends, and so this is where the role of substitute wife comes in!! I can assure you (basically because Andy is not here to say otherwise) that he is d.e.l.i.g.h.t.e.d with this set up!!! Mwahahahaha
Anyway, our first weekend has passed (it took a good 24hrs until I drove him to drink) and Andy set off on Sunday evening back to Narnia. I had gone to my friend's for dinner and when I got back I shouted 'Honey, I'm hooommme'.....all that came back was a deafening silence and a heavy feeling of emptiness and abandonment. It was then I realised what had happened - by taking on this role of substitute wife, my expectations had changed...which left me feeling sad when my new 'husband' b*ggered off. So I sent Andy a text telling him that I want a divorce - he wrote back that we should try a 5 day trial separation - which I've agreed to, but I don't hold out much hope to be honest....
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