Since when was it 'romantic' to have...

...'Good Pals' on a love-heart sweetie??  You know the ones?  I'm pretty sure that when I was younger they used to have 'Be mine', 'Kiss Me', 'Love You' or 'Blue Eyes' (which seems as romantic as saying 'Long Hair' or 'High cheek-bones'...but whatever floats your boat!!) - but could you imagine receiving a love-heart sweetie that says 'Good Pals' on it (especially if you went to my school where 'pal' meant 'personal @rse licker!! - very mature and creative...but we were only kids!! Still makes me laugh though!!)?!?!  I suppose it could be one way of getting a message across to a guy or gal who you think may have a crush on you, and you're not feeling the same way - but is that really the point of the love-heart sweetie??  I don't think so.

The great thing about all these wee messages is that they distract you as you devour a whole pack, because you are sitting there either taking the piss out of them as you resort to 'Really???...*munch, munch*' as your only response to what's written on your sweetie, it takes away from concentrating on the fact that you've just eaten 143 or however many are in a pack these days.

It's probably just as well that I ate these in the privacy of my home because I do talk out loud throughout the whole pack.  You should've heard me when I got to the one that said 'Angel Face' -
Me: Hell yeah - tell it like it is!!
(You only look like an eejit if there is someone there as a witness!!).

So, we're only a couple of days away from St.Valentine's Day - yippeeeee...eee..ee (for those of you who don't read sarcasim - that 'yippeeeee...eee..ee' was sarcastic).  It's not that I'm bitter (well I am, but that's about other things in life; nothing to do with this one day a year when yet again those jealous b*st*rds at the post office steal all my Valentine cards, gifts and flowers) but it's through frustration that when one wants to have a rant about how commercial it all is...some tube (someone that no doubt the postal people have no issues with and most likely receive their Valentines every year) decides that the source of my rant is bitterness, therefore totally undermining my very valid point - because if you argue that you're not bitter, guess what??  You sound bitter!!

I did receive a Valentine's once.  I lived in a hotel, just outside of Edinburgh for a while, a few years back and I was staying over Valentine's.  One of the waiters gave me a glass of champagne and wished me happy Valentine's.  It wasn't until I started to drink that he fessed up that he'd stolen it from the wedding that was taking place in the hotel - well it's not like I could've returned it - so I did the decent thing and drank it quickly so that we didn't get caught.  One of the other waiters announced that he could do better than that...he went away for a few minutes and came back with a single red rose for me...

...that he'd cut out of The Sun newspaper!!  Hahahaha....but you know what, I've still got it - and the great thing is that I don't remember the waiter's name, so it's in the true spirit of not knowing who gave me the Valentine's (well...you gotta work with what you've got!!).

So, my sore tummy & I are off to get giddy with excitement with the thought that perhaps the postie has retired and there's a new, non-jealous replacement who shall deliver all the Valentine's that my admirers are sure to have sent....and if he hasn't retired, then perhaps HAND DELIVERY is the way forward!?!?!?! <-- ok, there is a hint somewhere in that last sentence, I just don't want it to be missed!!